BELONGING TO TWO COUNTRIES AND LIVING IN A THIRD

Being born in the United Kingdom provides you with multiple identities -- the identity of being British and then the identity, and perhaps a stronger sense of belonging, to your country of habitation, England, Wales, Scotland, or Northern Ireland. Ask anyone from the UK. Likely they will say they are proud to be British, but they will often say before that they are proud to be English or Welsh or Scottish or Irish.

For me, that identity has always been complicated. I was born in England and grew up in Wales and was born to a Welsh father and an English mother. My stronger heartstrings attachment is to Wales, as that was my homeland, but I find myself as an amalgamation of both those cultures, the Celtic and the Anglo.

I distinctly remember feeling a little different growing up. I didn't speak Welsh, I didn't sound like my Welsh family nor my English family, I grew up in Welsh culture but I preferred English history, and I was a little unsure of myself. An example: I would go on outings with my Nana and have people come up to me, shove money in my hand, and speak to me in Welsh while my Nana answered for me. It was interesting and sometimes sad to feel simultaneously Welsh and not Welsh enough. English and not English enough. Now, I see this as an immense strength; to be part of many cultures within one is a really cool dynamic to have and it's funny to see how it operates in your day-to-day life. I always joke to myself that I have a Welsh temper but an English food palate. English food is the thing that ties me so much to home, even now.

I remember seeing plenty of English celebrities and famous people celebrated in the world when I was growing up, but hardly any Welsh. Therefore, anyone who had a drop of Welsh blood I gravitated to as sources of inspiration. My favorite member of Steps (a terrible 90s pop band, don't look them up...) was Lisa because she was Welsh. My favorite actress was Catherine Zeta-Jones because she was Welsh. I just found myself looking for people who I had something in common with and I couldn't find anyone who had done "something" with their life who was English AND Welsh, like me. Naturally, I gravitated to the underdog and told myself that if I ever did something with my life, I'd mention I was from Wales so people would know about us.

Yet, my English identity has irrevocably guided my professional and academic aspirations. I always knew I was going to go to England for schooling because that was where I could get the education I wanted. I never had any inclination to stay in Wales for the "grown-up" part of my life. I knew at that point that England was calling me home. Even as a youngster I was adamant I was going to Oxford. I devoured books about English history -- MY history -- and that led me to getting my degree in History in 2013 with a focus in... you guessed it, English history. I love the story of the English. It is so over-dramatic and over-the-top in every aspect but it is so telling in what makes us who we are.

I am very proud of where I come from. My ancestors were Welsh farmers and English shoemakers. I have military men on both sides. I have people who took the risk to move away from their homelands across the ocean on both sides. I have sadness and loss on both sides and power and strength on both sides. I am from humble beginnings on both sides. I belong to both Anglesey and the north of England. I like lobscouse and gravy (a little Welsh/English food stereotype there, which happens to be true in my case...).

We are the story of the UK -- small people who worked hard to make a life.

Now, I live in the United States and this had added to the complicated identity. I am not American and I will never feel American. However, I have almost certainly acquired traits of my new homeland. I have come to understand that I will never be American enough for here and probably won't be British enough for back home. I have friends back home tell me that I sound American and people here say they hear "something" and ask where I am from. I have been told I don't sound Welsh and that I don't have an "English" accent either. I have spent formative years in the UK where I learned who I was and then I moved to the US at fifteen and my psyche went, "Just kidding! Here's another layer to figure out!"

So, who am I? Identity forms a big part of who we are, whether we realize it or not. We are rooted to our homes, wherever they may be, our families, language, ethnicity, color, and so many other things. Oh, see? There's my Americanism -- color instead of colour. That took a few months to adjust to. I got over-corrected in English class when I came here and my first instinct was to think, "I am English. I think I know how to write, but okay..."

Sometimes it has been a struggle, but I have come to accept that I am neither one but I am all.

I am the ferocity of the Celtic gene. I am the tradition of the English gene. I am becoming the go-getter of the American gene. And I am perfectly fine with all of those.

I am Aimee. Born in England. Grew up in Wales. Grew up more in Texas. Continuing to grow in Tennessee.

Where next? I don't know but I am happy to add it to my repertoire of identities and to take the best of every world to shape me into who I am meant to be.

I always thought I was just "Aimee from Anglesey" or "Aimee the immigrant" but I now know I have the potential to be more. And I find that exciting.

There's a great quote, "And like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again."

I am beginning to feel full again.