It's been a while.
Five days after my last post here, I celebrated my 30th birthday alone and six days after that I started my new job at Cardiff Metropolitan University. Needless to say, life has been busy since then.
My last post outlined the daunting 'what next?' of life and how I was looking forward to figuring out who I was again without the restrictions I faced in the USA. I'll be honest, I still don't really know and have had a lot less time than I wanted to figure that out. However, I know far more about myself than I did in the US and I've come to learn a number of lessons that I'd love to share with you as I am sure that all of us can relate in some way.
Since that November 6, 2021 post, I've gotten a job and kept it (hurrah!), brought my beloved Milo over, settled in a little town in South Wales, been back to my home of Anglesey, stayed in a cottage, checked some areas off my bucket list, celebrated two Christmases alone, been checked for cancer, nursed a dog through an cruciate tear, explored castles, forests, beaches and villages, welcomed family over, and so much more. There's been a lot of growth and always a few hiccups, but here's what I've learned from moving across the world again. I hope some of my learnings help you understand yourself better and perhaps offer you a chance to look back at how far you've come.
I am much more capable than I give myself credit for.
Now, I am still learning this one so full disclaimer there. However, I recognise now that all the things I used to cry myself to sleep about in the US, I have now done. So many things that I worry about in my head, I've managed. The things I've verbally told myself or others that I categorically cannot do, I've done. I think all of us struggle at some point or another to recognise that we are wholly capable of things we think we cannot do, so may this be your (and my...) reminder that we can do big things. Even if and when we have to do them alone.
Self-reliance is key
This one is partially my fault because I've gotten into a rut of not even trying to alleviate the work-life balance issue, but I have learned that you need to be able to rely on yourself because so many people who say they'll be there are not. This isn't to dismiss anyone - people have a lot on - but I have come to understand that how I am there for people may not be reciprocated and I need to be okay with that. I think it's good to remind ourselves that people who show up are a blessing in our lives but that we have to be okay with managing some of the hardest times in life on our own if we need to.
Freedom is the ultimate marketing ploy in the United States
I am more free here in the UK. Not just professionally and personally. Safety is a huge portion of feeling 'free', I've found. I now understand even more that the US sells lack of safety as a price of freedom. I don't have to worry about being shot in my classroom here. I can walk around at night and feel okay. I don't turn around quickly when a person walks into a room late. Those things you can't put a price on. Yet, the US does. The price is that people may die but freedom to own a gun is more important. It's not and it never was. I have witnessed both a campus shooting as a student and locked down my class as a teacher and those are things that no student or teacher or person should ever have to go through and I am grateful to be able to work and not have to worry. We ask men and women to die for our freedom on battlefields and that is too much to ask. We shouldn't ask civilians to do the same in classrooms, restaurants, their homes, churches, concerts, or shopping malls.
Small things are the big things
I used to be adamant that I'd be a New Yorker. I went to New York and realised I was not a New Yorker. I would be a New Yorker if Bourton-on-the-Water changed its name to New York. This may be an age thing or maybe a constant life of upheaval thing, but simple things mean so much more. A good cup of coffee, birds singing, a happy dog, reading a good book outside, the sea, a hug, making someone smile, feeling at peace. I am naturally a professional go-getter, but not so much in my personal life, but I am okay with that now. My dreams in life have changed and for a long time I kind of forced myself to feel that I had to honour my dreams as a 22 year old. I'm 32 now. My dreams have changed with me and that is okay.
There's more I've learned but if I've learned anything from teaching it's don't give people too much to read! I'm glad to have opened up my blog again as I have definitely missed being able to write. I'll start back up with fashion content and other things I'm interested in, as well as the charity aspect, particularly since I volunteer with Cardiff Dog's Home now! If I may, go back and read my Inspirational Women series. I've re-read them after two years and definitely needed some of the advice they shared.
Hope you are all keeping well. 'til next time...
-A
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