Feminist and feminism have always been controversial words. Many associate them less with empowerment of the female gender and more with inequity. Yet, feminism has never been about putting women above men, merely putting women in an equal partnership with men.
Now, to play devil's advocate for the opposition of feminism -- I understand why some women and men are reluctant to use the word to describe themselves. It seemingly has a sense of inequity just by virtue of the fact that it emphasizes one gender over another. Additionally, I think the fact that the term is used (and discussions of inequity are curated) most often by western women poses a problem in people's eyes too.
I understand these issues.
To explain my point of view in the first instance, raising awareness of issues faced by one gender doesn't diminish the importance of issues relating to the other. For example: We can quite easily focus on one pressing issue without a thought that the others aren't as important. We can focus on Save the Children without feeling that we are overlooking all other vulnerable populations. We can highlight breast cancer in October without feeling as if we are doing a disservice to the other cancers people suffer from. This very topic has been a highly debated one recently with the argument that the slogan Black Lives Matter is divisive when it merely does exactly the same as the aforementioned examples. This highlighting of a particular group or issue only becomes problematic it seems when it is in relation to gender or race. This makes it harder to create empathy in people and empathy is a key requirement for tipping the scales of justice or equality in favor of a marginalized group. You cannot see issues unless you feel for the people facing them.
Case in point: I cared about animal testing before I had my dog. But I didn't care about animal testing until I had my dog. Researching his beagle personality and learning about their plight in animal testing made me understand the issue deeper. Then, because of the deep love I have for him and the constant awareness of his personality being perfect for trust and harm, I jumped right in to donating to an organization that helps curb animal testing. The empathy I had spurred me on to see the issue more clearly and try to help. This isn't a virtue-signaling example, merely one that highlights the positive impact empathy can have in truly understanding issues people (and animals!) face and being proactive in your approach instead of just going, "Aw, sad."
Secondly, as much as I understand the concern that discussions of feminism seem a "moot point" when being brought up by western women, I have to argue this: Yes, feminism and discussions of gender inequity will mostly fall on deaf ears when privileged western women are the ones bringing it to the table. Inevitably sceptics will wonder why we are complaining when women have *all* the same rights as men. Yet, they forget that we are the group of women ALLOWED to discuss these ideas. These issues would continuously be swept under the rug unless privileged women who are allowed to use their voices advocated for the women across the world who have no voice. Likely every woman in the world will agree that education is immensely important to personal development and opportunities, but I can sit here and type this and speak it aloud to whomever I wish, whereas a woman who has been a child-bride since the age of ten will likely only tell another woman privately while her husband or male authority figure is away. Those of us who have voices must speak up for those who don't.
So, I am a feminist. Despite the negative connotations of the term, I am a feminist. My only wish is that women across the world and close to home have the same access to opportunities as men and are able to thrive and fulfill their entire potential without being weighted down with the burden of their gender. I wish for every girl to CHOOSE if she would like to get married and when. I wish for every girl to have ACCESS to education. I wish for every girl to CHOOSE if and when to have children through affordable access to birth control. I wish for every girl to never FEAR sexual violence or domestic abuse. I wish for every girl to have access to all OPPORTUNITIES, because she deserves them as a human being. That, to me, is feminism. I wish for myself the same respect, rights, and opportunities as my beloved brothers. I wish for my future daughter the same respect, rights, and opportunities as my future son. And vice versa.
It isn't men-hating. In fact, we need men at the table more than ever. Most, if not all, of the societies in which gender inequity is most pronounced are patriarchal societies. We cannot change the culture of gender and equality if the people in charge -- men -- are not on board. In all instances of profound change in equity for women and girls, men were always a part of the solution. They had to be. That included charity workers, philanthropists, husbands, fathers, brothers, religious leaders, government leaders, etc. They had to be part of the discussions. We cannot discuss changing the culture of child brides, for example, without fathers and potential husbands at the table. Feminism is not only a woman's space and we shouldn't encourage it to be.
It is imperative that feminism is intersectional and inclusive.
That's why we need representatives of all groups in discussions. We need women in government to forge laws which will impact women. Regardless of where you stand on reproductive rights, isn't it fair that women should be part of the discussion when it's our bodies which are impacted? When we talk about increasing male suicide rates, men have to be at the table. How can we think about ways to reach men in dire circumstances when there are no men to lead these discussions? Representation matters and it helps us form real ways to solve real problems.
I don't see my being a privileged woman as a disqualifier to be a feminist. I can sit in a position of relative equality to men and still advocate for that to be the norm and not the exception. I am sure some people reading this will go, "Yeah, yeah. Sure, Aimee. Sit in your home with a roof over your head and food in your belly and preach to us about inequality..."
To that I say, I will! If me telling you that female genital mutilation can start at age three makes you get off your butt and research it and advocate for young children to be spared from this painful practice, I have done my job from my privileged vantage point. If telling you that there are girls across the world who are married at ten years old and die in childbirth at thirteen makes you decide to work with at-risk youth, I have used my voice for a good reason. I am perfectly fine with being reminded of my much higher levels of equity if it brings attention to a girl across the world who is being sold into sexual slavery right this minute. I CAN tell you. The women who this impacts often cannot.
I am feminist. I hope whomever is reading this, whatever your gender is, has the right to pursue their full potential and the right to make their own decisions about their life. If the tide ever changes and men are the ones struggling with inequity, I will be right by their side fighting for them. Humans deserve to live life on their own terms and to never be held back by their ethnicity, race, gender, favorite ice cream, lack of hair, or any other mundane and ridiculous reason. If they don't like dogs though...
Just kidding!
Empowered people always give back and lifting up people who have been pushed down only makes society more wealthy, in both economics and heart.
As Melinda Gates says in her fantastic book The Moment of Lift, "When women can decide whether and when to have children; when women can decide whether and when to marry; when women have access to healthcare, do only our fair share of unpaid labor, get the education we want, make the financial decisions we need, are treated with respect at work, enjoy the same rights as men, and rise up with the help other women and men who train us in leadership and sponsor us for high positions--then women flourish... and our families and communities flourish with us."
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